By: Keith Sampson
Executive Coordinator – God of Hope
“I can fix it…” Not only am I like most guys who think the answer to things is to either fix it or find a way to fix it, but I would self-proclaim that this is wired into me in an abnormal way. I don’t slow down or listen. As soon as I’m aware of the problem, I am working on the “fix.”
Sometimes this can be extremely annoying to the people around me, while other times is very beneficial. But the real problem with being the guy who wants to “fix it” is that there’s little room for dependency on others or oftentimes on Jesus. The only time that others even come into play is when I need their help to fix it.
Throughout 2011 and 2012, this was one of the hardest lessons to learn and the one that took the longest before I could give up trying to just “fix it.” There are many things in life that we cannot fix—not from the lack of desire, but because we’re incapable for one reason or another.
I remember the moment it hit me. I was sitting on the deck in tears and praying about as hard as I have ever prayed. It was leading up to the last month or so before filing for divorce. There was absolutely nothing I could do, and it was driving me crazy. I wanted to fix it all so badly, but I couldn’t. I was driven to the point of needing to completely surrender the situation and my sanity to God. I had to drag the words out of my mouth that I could not fix it. I also didn’t understand why all of it was happening.
But once that realization hit, it was amazing how much lighter my spirit felt. I wasn’t consumed. I truly had given in and given up, with complete dependence on God. I had never done that with any part of my life.
For the first time, I experienced a hope that didn’t rely on me in some way. Yes, I still struggle with this. I still naturally want to fix whatever the problem is. But I know I don’t have to be the one to fix everything.