Daily Stop & Thinks

Friendship I

This communicating of a man’s self to his friend works two contrary effects; for it redoubleth joy, and cutteth griefs in half. (Francis Bacon, 16^th-17^th century English philosopher)

The math of Bacon’s statement is an oxymoron; how can something be doubled and cut in half at the same time? Math aside, it’s an encouraging thought and ought to propel us to deepen our relationship with close friends. It should be our aim to double our joy and lessen our sorrow by sharing deeply in our friendship.

Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. (John 15:15)

Advice

Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. (Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 18^th-19^th century English poet)

It’s winter now, and as the snow falls, it might be helpful to put aside the reluctance to shovel the walks and remember Coleridge’s analogy. It’s not always easy to accept someone’s well-intentioned advice, but when it’s given softly by a trusted friend or counselor and we let it sink in a bit, it may be a great encouragement in our emotional and social growth.

Those who take advice are wise. . . Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. (Proverbs 13:10; 19:20)

Weakness

You have to take responsibility for how you respond to… trial. (John Stumbo, author)

John Stumbo suffered from a months-long undiagnosed illness that kept him unable to walk, stand, swallow, or eat except by a feeding tube. He dealt with depression from time to time, but in it he recognized—as we all must—that our response to life’s ups-and-downs is up to us. We may need lots of help, but it’s our choice to despair or to ask God for inner strength to endure.

God to the Apostle Paul, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:8)

Riches and Poverty

We regard wealth as something to be properly used, rather than as something to boast about. (Pericles, 5^th century B.C., Greek orator)

He continues, “As for poverty, no one need be ashamed to admit it. . .” Wealth and poverty are extremes which bring extreme responses. We cringe when we hear the rich brag about their wealth, and we are distressed to hear of the poverty which surrounds us. Use your riches (no matter how little) to benefit others, especially the poor, and assist the impoverished to overcome.

Whoever gives to the poor will lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to poverty will be cursed. . . give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. (Proverbs 28:27; 30:8)

Encouragement

The fact that you are willing to say, “I do not understand, and it is fine,” is the greatest understanding you could exhibit. (Wayne Dyer, self-help, best-selling author)

When a friend shares his difficult situation with us, we may be so eager to help him or her with good advice that we sometimes rattle on without offering much help at all. Our misdirected advice could be more harmful than helpful. Dyer gives us good advice. We should simply admit that we can’t fully appreciate the problem and offer a hug and a word of encouragement.

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

The words of the godly encourage many. (Proverbs 10:21)

Blending

There may need to be some bending to achieve good blending. (Brent Sandy, author)

Using the analogy of the popular smoothie drinks, Sandy referred to the multitude of blended families in our society. In any merger involving parties from different backgrounds and experience, a great deal of give-and-take is required to create a happy and productive experience. What a good lesson for a divided society. To blend well, we will have to bend well.

Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. (Ephesians 4:3)

Hope and Action

Hope in every area of life is a privilege that attaches to action. No action, no hope. (Peter Levi, poet)

Pastor Chris Suitt adds, “You know the type. Those who are all talk, but no action. . . Our world needs hope, not mere words.” Remember the old adage, “What you do speaks so loud, I can’t hear what you say.” It would be a positive example to society if we would match our actions to positive words of encouragement.

 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. (Hebrews 10:24)

Thinking and Acting

Doing and thinking work together to form character. (Paraphrase of Larry P. Arnn, president of Hillsdale College)

He continued, “If their characters are not courageous, moderate, and just, then not only will they [lack courage] in action, but their thinking will be impaired.” “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart” Matthew 12:35). The link between thinking and acting is critical.

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. (Proverbs 23:7)

Friendship

I find friendship to be like wine, raw when new, ripened with age, the true old man’s milk and restorative cordial. (Thomas Jefferson)

On Presidents’ Day we look to our third president for a helpful comment about friends. Various drinks are often cited for the qualities associated with them. Some are restorative in terms of health and energy. Others are shared in times of intimacy as friends encourage one another. How helpful it would be if we saw ourselves as a refreshing, healthful part of another’s life.

The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends. . . and a brother is born to help in time of need.  (Proverbs 11:30; 17:17)

Needs & Wants

Giving the people what they want is not nearly as powerful as teaching people what they need. (Seth Godin, author and marketer)

It’s often a difficult dilemma when we have to choose between wants and needs. It might be easy for parents to choose when their children beg for something they want that is not good for them. But, when we adults face those decisions, we too often give in to the “wants.” Discipline in choosing requires discernment and the commitment to choose what is best for the long term.

Give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. (Proverbs 30:8)

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. (Philippians 4:6)

Tact

It takes tact to have contact. (Warren Wiersbe, author)

To have a fulfilled life, we need to have good relationships with at least a few close people. These connections are sometimes difficult to create and maintain. As Wiersbe suggests, tact is important. We may spoil our close association with others because we lack good skills in making contact. We must learn to be kind, observant, and gracious to develop strong relationships.

A man who has friends must himself be friendly. (Proverbs 18:24)

A Smile

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. (Maya Angelou, late US Poet Laureate)

“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue . . .” is the way our childish Valentine cards often began. It’s Valentine’s Day, and we’re expected to card and gift those we love today. There may be a lot of people we really care for and we can at least do what Angelou suggests—give them a smile. It costs very little but it can be very helpful—a valuable touch to those you love.

Look at him; give him your warmest smile. (Psalm 34:5)

A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face. (Proverbs 15:13)